Why did I get butterflies when my newly separated husband and kissed today after 1month of separation?

My husband of 20 yrs recently left we have 3 kids together and he has been staying at a friends house now for 1 month. We had a very bad argument and he thought it was best to tke some time apart as to no longer fight makeup and fight in front of the kids. They think we are dysfunctional. Which I agree we both came with Alto of baggage from out childhoods and then created our very own during our marriage. When never went to therapy was just fought and made up continuously. I guess every thing stayed bottled up until in spilled over 3weeks ago. At 1st he was really angry cause was not very plea sent to be around they we exploded. we talked about legal separation; divorce counseling together and apart. I cried, hes yelled etc . Recently, i took a hold of my feelings and said enough. Im not going to text ,email or call .Just go to work ,take care of my kids and myself.I told him I need time now. That 1st we must fix each other before we fix us a husband and wife. I meant it too. That threw him for a loop. I noticed that the more i begged for forgiveness and begged him to return the meaner and colder he was towards me .Oh ,he avoided seeing me in any way said the only way he would be in the same room with me was in a therapist office. Any way, today I was sick and so was son . So I asked him to come after work stay with him while I ran my errands .. doc / shopping food/. we finally sat watched tv together no cuddling and made him a sandwich. He suffers from chronic back pain because an accident he had when we were newlyweds. He said he was in pain because he has been sleeping on his buddies sofa bed. So I offered to crack his back like ive always done. 1st he refused and said why would u want to do that? I said fine . i just don't like to see u in pain. He agreed and we went to THE bedroom. He tells me I know you want .. u want me to take you and you know the rest. I said speak for your self. He stated we have to satisfy our needs while we are separated. Again I replied speak for your self. So I thought hm mm. I could use this situation to my advantage . I said fine but only if you kiss me.. Im not a tramp. I was never going to anyway.So we leaned in and omg . I know he felt what I felt . Then we kissed again and it was more passionate. He then said I have to go.. before we do something stupid and stated that we were dysfunctional. I disagree... I feel that we are still attracted to each other and may even fall in love all over again . Only if I remain strong. If we felt what we felt during that kiss and me with my butterflies does that mean we are still in love or he still love//?I love him and miss him ,but i want him to miss me also. Or Am I just a a hope less romantic.//\?sorry for long essay